That nine-letter word

John McDonnell knows that he’ll be crucified by the right-wing press (and, all too probably, by right-leaning members of his own party, too), but he’s dared to declare what the party will promote if he becomes chancellor of the exchequer.

Yes, folks, it’s Socialism.

It’s just as well to get the word in first, because his vision of a fairer society is already being tagged Communism on some Twitter posts.

Here – in Lady Thatcher’s Wink – is how the Tory prime minister Sturgeon Warbytton is educated by two of his colleagues when he takes an unexpected lurch to the left and wants to help the poor.


‘It doesn’t work like that, Sturge. We’ve spent a generation making sure that it doesn’t work like that. What you’re talking about is some kind of solidarity, but it doesn’t exist. It’s every man for himself. And woman, of course. And that’s how the children will grow up, too, unless we lose our nerve.’

‘Every worker thinks he deserves whatever he’s got and despises anyone who hasn’t,’ Julian added. ‘Everyone thinks there’s a slacker behind him trying to take his job or to cheat him of handouts.’

‘So if you offer to help the deprived,’ Probus went on, ‘your average worker thinks you’re talking about someone further down the food chain who doesn’t deserve it at all. He won’t want any part of that. Far better to talk about rewarding sweat, and then he’s sure you’re talking about him.’

‘Perhaps we should educate them.’

‘But that’s just what we have been doing. Ever since the iron lady came along. Lady Thatcher’s still giving us the wink.’



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